I've been in a long distance relationship for about 17 months now. So I know a thing or two about it. Because everyone is different and has their own individual needs in a relationship, my experience won't directly align with yours but still...
Picture this: you've found the right guy, or at least he seems like the right guy. You live in the same city, your interests align, your groups of friends get along and everything is smooth sailing. You're usually afraid of commitment but this time around, something feels different. He's different. You're different.
You've lived and dated in harmony for over 6 months now. In the midst of all this you forgot to take into account the fact that you'd be done with your work rotation in NYC and would have to move to London in the next month. What are you going to do? A long distance relationship? No way! That never works. You've never tried it but you've heard a lot of horror stories. First of all, you finally got yourself to trust this man and now you're going to be 3000 miles apart with no certainty about how often you'll be able to see each other.
Well, if you feel strongly enough about this person, then remember that you're more likely to regret the things you didn't do and opportunities you didn't explore than the ones you did.
This wasn't exactly my situation but pretty close to it. One thing is more important to me than respect in a relationship and that's communication. I don't care if you're working 10 shifts a day or saving the world, if we're in a relationship I need to know you're okay. Not from you instagram or snapchat activities but from talking to you. Even though I've been in an LDR for over a year now, I've seen my boyfriend almost every day (thank you Facebook video chat 🤗🤗). Does this make me needy? I don't know. But it's how I'm able to survive an LDR. Other ways you can get through the temporary long distance in a relationship include:
1. Writing letters to each other, I know no one writes letters anymore and it may not be sustainable but the gesture matters. When we got separated, my bf wrote me a few letters, (which I still haven't read) but something about knowing he was intentionally making this little gesture made me warm inside.
2. Planning fun events together - even though you might not see him for another few weeks, planning a vacation together, gives you something to look forward to and can take your mind away from the fact that you're not physically together.
3. Keep up whatever frequency of communication you had when you were together. If that means talking everyday, don't stop because you're not in the same time zone anymore. It might be harder, but no one ever said being in a relationship was easy. IMO there's really no excuse for not communicating, most people has some type of internet connection so between Skype, whatsapp, snapchat and Facebook, you should be able to figure it out.
4. Do not let arguments drag! It's easy to let issues go unresolved and turn into even bigger problems when you're not close to each other. Do not fall into this cycle. When something happens which causes friction, try to talk about it as soon as possible. I don't know about you but this is when my imagination is the most active, so I like to resolve problems almost immediately. Your partner may be the type too take their time.. if that's the case break up with them because it won't work. LOL Just kidding. Be patient with them. Read my post on patience HERE 😊
There are a lot of other things you can do if you're entering an LDR. I don't know that it gets easier but you should be able to manage your relationship and stay together if you love your partner. Oh and if you meet someone else, be honest about it! Chances are your partner is going through the same things and also needs someone to talk to.
Are any of you currently in an LDR? Share your thoughts with me in the comments section xx