Real Relationship Goals #isthisanoxymoron?



Everything is public these days, from weddings to birthdays, and even childbrith. I'm not judging, just making an observation. We spend so much on the internet that we start to think its real. I'm obviously guilty of this and sometimes just need to remind myself that it's not all that it seems to be.

BTW I’m talking about the glitz and glamour of social media which people aspire to.

Do you know that most Nigerian celebrities (maybe western as well idk) don’t actually own a lot of the clothes they’re styled in, why does it matter right? they don't pay for those outfits and yet each post is a full advertisement and some lady at home will probably fight their partner because they wants the same item (which she can’t afford on her own). That’s not a problem in and of itself but when most people can’t afford the lifestyle they see online and feel like they must have it at any cost, the things they'll do to attain it causes problems for the society.

But I don’t know much about this so I won’t spend any more time on it.

What I do know about is #relationshipgoals and I’ll give you some reasons why it’s bullsh*t😌

1. IT IS BS because everything you see online unless it’s live and sometimes even when it’s live is filtered! people generally share only what they want you to see and even if they’re not sure they want you to see it maybe they’ll share it for the controversy and buzz. regardless most of it is selective.

2. IT IS BS because no couple in this world is 100% happy all the time - and if such a couple exists, I HIGHLY doubt they’re on social media. So, thinking that the couples you see online have a perfect life and just go about everyday loving each other like there’s no tomorrow, is unrealistic.

3. IT IS BS because you don’t have access to the anger and betrayal that leads to ugly fights and name-calling in a relationship. Let me use this opportunity to say that fighting is good for relationships! as long as you're not fighting about stupids things and you know how to make up with each other.

4. IT IS BS because sometimes people aren’t even together and when they separate on less than amicable terms, they still post pictures of each other as #couplegoals for their FEED. How amazing is that? you’re swiping through your feed wanting a love like theirs and they're individually hurting or have moved on to the next.

I admit that for most of us whether or not we like it, social media is now a part of life. I just think it’s key to take a step back once in a while and remember that even though it all seems rosey, it’s not. It's important for those who are outside looking in because if they're not careful they can fall into the trap of only focusing on the surface parts of relationships because thats what they see online.

Looking back on the 4 points above, they could've been rolled up in one but for the sake of touching on different aspects of the bigger point, I separated them. The main point however is that SOCIAL MEDIA IS FILTERED (lol big reveal right?) I know you know this because you're all smart and don’t need me to tell you these things but I've read your comments (thank you so much for all of them!!), answered your DM's (I'm always happy to connect) and in some cases been DR. Phil (If you ask, i'll give you my opinion). This is here incase someone out there actually needs it.

PS: You guys already know, I love love and I'm not knocking anyone for wanting/admiring a beautiful relationship with someone who loves them whole heartedly for who they are. This post was written as a way of venting during a heated moment. However I'm publishing it now because if anything, it only proves my point that all relationships have ups and downs. I don't think anyone is naive to think otherwise but again for the sake of pouring my heart out when I needed to, this post came to life.

If you think I'm completely out of line and that no one actually believes everything they see online, I'd like to hear from you. So, drop a comment below 💞

always,

Chinju


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