Hi my loves,
It feels so good to be back. There's so much to be said for having a creative outlet and a space where you can truly express yourself;a no pressure zone. That's what ATTICS is for me. I love that even when I take some time off and life gets crazy, I can always come back and pick up from where I stopped.
As you all know, I got engaged last August and my wedding to Obi, both traditional and white are coming up really soon. Getting married is such a big deal and the topic comes up almost every day in my life since we got engaged.
If you missed the engagement, get a recap HERE
It's funny because when people ask how preparations are going, they're focused more on the actual wedding day. People often fall into the trap of thinking that the wedding is the marriage and failing to consider how life will be in marriage after the wedding day and honeymoon. Luckily for us, Obi and I have people around us to share with us what's really important and we care enough about our relationship to prepare for our marriage in other ways than just planning the wedding day, after party and the honeymoon.
We're both Christian (Catholic) and we've been attending a preparatory marriage course for the past couple of months. I've found the lessons extremely insightful and taken home bits and pieces that I think are worth sharing you guys. You don't have to be engaged or even in a relationship to find this useful because as you know , there's no such thing as wasted knowledge.
I'll be sharing the insights in the following categories:
- The meaning and purpose of marriage
- The Church, Sex, and responsible parenthood.
- Money matters
- Roles and Responsibilities
Starting with the meaning and purpose of Marriage in this post. Lets get right into it.
WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE?
Well I asked on my Instagram story and theses are some of the answers I got...
Would it shock you to know that the purpose of marriage isn't to have a steady sexual partner, well I'm sure it wouldn't because most people who get married probably want multiple partners anyway. The purpose ISN'T to marry a rich spouse and hammer. Finally, having children is also not the main reason for marriage.
Some facts about marriage.
1. It is a holy sacrament - which means it is an outward sign of an inward grace
2. It is a covenant not a contract - marriage as seen by the Roman Catholic church does not have an end unless one part of the couple dies. we take the "Till death do us part" segment of the conventional vows seriously.
3. Love alone is not enough to sustain a marriage.
4. In case #3 was not clear enough, DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION
The first purpose of marriage according to the scriptures is COMPANIONSHIP. God made Eve from Adam because he saw that the man needed a companion. Adam needed Eve because if he didn't have her he would've remained incomplete. When Adam woke up from the deep sleep induced by God he marveled at His creation (Eve) and proclaimed that he had met his match who was made just like him and for him. God provides for his children in every single way and he knows our needs even before we realize it; that's why he made Eve for Adam and that's the reason why the primary purpose of marriage is companionship.
The secondary purpose is to fulfill God's words in the scripture when he proclaimed that man should be fruitful and multiply. Having children is one of the biggest blessings in a marriage and yet the church teaches us that not every marriage was intended to be blessed by Children born of the wife. Trust that when the instructor mentioned this in class there was a heated discussion. Why should some women have children and others not have the same blessings? surely God made a mistake when he made things that way and that's why perhaps he made man smart enough to invest tech like IVF which gives women the hope that they can give birth to their own children (**not my opinion). In case you are not aware, as I wasn't, the catholic church condemns IVF -which a lot of families believe is the silver bullet that will fix their challenges with fertility., because it is unnatural, invasive and gives doctors and the couple the opportunity to play GOD (they can choose which eggs to fertilize and which genes to reproduce).
I never really thought of the purpose of marriage before that day in class. Just like my friend of relied "LOVE" in the slideshow above, I always just felt like when you find the right person, you would get married and try as much as possible to live happily ever after. I said try as much as possible because contrary to popular secular belief, marriage is not a bed of roses. Couples face real challenges in their union which if you're expecting a fairytale life, could destroy your marriage. It was good to hear the actual meaning and intention of the sacramaent of marriage because it kinda brought everything together for me.
The church makes a fuss about engaged couples being vigorously prepared before they take wedding vows because it knows that divorce is not an option. In reality a lot of couples state lack of children as a reason for getting a divorce but I wonder how that would change if they knew that they should not have seen it as a criteria for staying together in the first place.
Are you surprised by Gods intention for the purpose of marriage or did you always know? Have I Missed anything ?
Comment below and let me know!